Often we get asked at Maggie’s Station if it is really necessary to add either RSVP, or regrets to an invitation. And we absolutely say, YES! We try to encourage adding e-mail addresses and a phone number. I grew up in Maggie’s home where she always kept invitations and response cards by the phone. I’d often hear her either speak to someone to inform that she could, or couldn’t attend a particular event. It just seemed to come naturally to her. Sometimes, I’d hear her ask if she could bring one of her children along to the event. It was those simple courtesies and touches of etiquette that at the time were puzzling to me. Whenever I was invited to a party for one of my childhood friends, there was never any doubt that I would decline. I always remember attending classmate parties that were filled with many special games where you could win prizes. It seemed like the party in early December right before Santa would arrive was the most fun. I remember thinking at the time, that when I grow up and have children, I would throw them parties like that I had attended, and I would hope everyone would attend. Little did I know, that proper etiquette was being followed by my mother Maggie. And for that matter, Maggie wasn’t the only mother who called the host.
There is a saying that daughters grow up to be just like their Mothers. That is exactly how I grew up, cherishing all the social manners my Mother was teaching to me in small ways. Just this week, our family had been invited to an Easter Celebration at a family members home out of state. It was wonderful to hear from the host, and that she was setting the tone of what dishes would be served and by whom. I then sent a note saying we couldn’t attend and wished them a wonderful time for all. I also shared some stories with her, and she replied back letting me know that she witnessed my mother in my note and that the “courtesy” was appreciated. It was the best compliment to ever receive.
What RSVP Means
The term RSVP comes from the French expression "répondez s'il vous plaît", meaning "please respond". If RSVP is written on an invitation it means the invited guest must tell the host whether or not they plan to attend the party. It does not mean to respond only if you're coming, and it does not mean respond only if you're not coming (the expression "regrets only" is reserved for that instance). It means the host needs a definite head count for the planned event, and needs it by the date specified on the invitation.
Why It's Inconsiderate Not to RSVP
An incomplete list of respondents can cause numerous problems for a host including difficulty in planning food quantities, issues relating to minimum guarantees with catering halls, uncertainty over the number of party favors and difficulties in planning appropriate seating, among other things.
So the next time you see RSVP on an invitation you receive, please call your host and respond promptly.
Here at Maggie’s Station, we hope all of you take the time to acknowledge the receipt of an invitation, and use either a phone number or the e-mail address to advise your regrets or happiness to attend. And most of all, we hope you have many happy memories at the events that you are included in.
There is a saying that daughters grow up to be just like their Mothers. That is exactly how I grew up, cherishing all the social manners my Mother was teaching to me in small ways. Just this week, our family had been invited to an Easter Celebration at a family members home out of state. It was wonderful to hear from the host, and that she was setting the tone of what dishes would be served and by whom. I then sent a note saying we couldn’t attend and wished them a wonderful time for all. I also shared some stories with her, and she replied back letting me know that she witnessed my mother in my note and that the “courtesy” was appreciated. It was the best compliment to ever receive.
